Tantrums. Even the most patient parent has faced them, whether it’s in the grocery store, at home, or during drop-off at daycare or preschool. The good news? Tantrums are perfectly normal for toddlers and young children. In fact, they’re a healthy (if loud) part of early childhood development. With the right strategies, parents can help their children learn to manage big emotions and prevent some meltdowns before they start.
Here’s what every parent should know about handling tantrums with confidence and care.
Why Are Tantrums So Common?
Toddlers and preschoolers are in an exciting and challenging stage of development:
- Their brains are growing rapidly, but their ability to regulate emotions is still emerging.
- They may not yet have the words to express complex feelings like frustration, disappointment, or fatigue.
- They’re striving for independence, but still rely heavily on adults for structure and support.
When these factors combine, tantrums are bound to happen. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), most children between 1 and 4 years old will have occasional tantrums and it’s a normal part of their emotional development. At Training Wheels Childcare, teachers understand this developmental stage and use consistent routines, positive language, and calm responses to support children as they learn to manage their feelings.
How Parents Can Handle Tantrums
Here are some practical ways parents can respond to tantrums both at home and during transitions to daycare or preschool:
- Stay calm: Your child looks to you for cues. Try to model calm, steady behavior, even if you feel frustrated. Take deep breaths and speak in a low, reassuring voice.
- Acknowledge their feelings: Say things like, “I see you’re very upset. It’s okay to feel sad, but it’s not okay to hit.” Naming emotions helps children learn to understand and manage them.
- Keep limits firm and simple: If the tantrum is about a limit (like not getting another cookie), calmly restate the boundary and avoid giving in. Consistency builds trust.
- Offer comfort or space: Some children want a hug; others need space to calm down. Learn what works for your child and support them accordingly.
- Reflect and reconnect: Once the tantrum passes, reconnect with your child. You can talk briefly about what happened and encourage positive ways to handle feelings next time.
Pro tip: In daycare and preschool classrooms, teachers often use “calm down corners” with visual supports and soothing objects, you can create a similar space at home.
Tips for Preventing Tantrums
While no strategy will prevent all tantrums (they’re developmentally appropriate!), you can reduce their frequency and intensity:
- Stick to routines: Predictable routines at home and in daycare or preschool help toddlers feel secure and reduce frustration.
- Offer choices: Giving simple choices (“Red cup or blue cup?”) helps toddlers feel empowered, reducing power struggles.
- Prepare for transitions: Warn your child when a change is coming (“5 more minutes, then we’ll leave the park.”) to ease transitions.
- Watch for triggers: Hunger, fatigue, and overstimulation are common tantrum triggers. Try to meet basic needs proactively.
- Teach feeling words: Reading books about emotions, modeling “I feel…” statements, and using visuals can help children express themselves without melting down.
Tantrums Are a Learning Opportunity
While challenging in the moment, tantrums are an opportunity for your child to:
- Learn self-regulation skills
- Develop emotional awareness
- Build trust in caregivers who respond calmly and consistently
In high-quality early childhood education settings, teachers and caregivers partner with parents to support this important growth. When home and school work together, children develop the resilience and skills they need for success.
Final Encouragement for Parents
If your child has tantrums, congratulations, they’re a typical toddler! The key is not to eliminate tantrums entirely, but to support your child through them with calm, consistent care. And if your child attends a nurturing daycare or preschool, remember: educators are trained in supporting emotional development, and they’re your partners in helping your child learn and grow. Together, you can help your child navigate big feelings and celebrate all the progress along the way.